Trip Report #1

This covers Thurs, 8/11 - Tues, 8/16.
This is going to be long. I'll try to make more frequent reports.

Allow me to start at the beginning..

As some of you know, I have started a transport company on the side. I have a customer that wanted a boat hauled from Jacksonville, FL to Tacoma. I had planned to ride the Harley out to the grand canyon the beginning of Sept It didn't make much sense to take this trip (having to work my other job during the day, which means constant hassles finding wireless connections, paying "late stay" charges at hotels, etc), turn around, go back home, and leave again on another 2000-3000 mile (one way) trip.

I arranged with work to take the two weeks vacation scheduled in Sept to transport the boat, with plans to see everything I can along the way. The basic plan was to haul some serious ass (and since hauling a 8000 lb boat/trailer, that meant long hours, not going fast) out west, then take time to see a few sites, and hopefully pick up another load or two for the return trip.

The completely loose, unplanned, "wouldn't it be cool to see this shit?" itinerary is/was:

- Nashville
- Mount Rushmore
- Yellowstone
- Space Needle
- San Francisco
- Possibly Hollywood
- Quick trip down the main strip of Las Vegas, maybe stay the night (cheap buffets!)
- Grand Canyon
- Anything else of major interest along the way.

So far, I am adding the redwood forest to this. I *really* want to see them big trees.

I took Friday (8/12) as a comp day, left Thursday night, stayed the night at a rest area in Jacksonville on Thursday, got the first service on the truck on Friday morning, picked up the boat, Hit Joe's Crab Shack for brunch, stood in the ocean for about 10 minutes and was on the road about noon I stayed at Crestwood Suites in Nashville (about 5 miles from Opryland) on Friday night. I didn't see Opryland as I was anxious to get on the road, plus I'll be criss-crossing Nashville on the way back home.

Saturday saw me spending the night at the Rock Point rest area in Nemaha, Missouri, about 110 miles NW of Kansas City. Only about 4 hours sleep in the truck, approximately 600 miles covered.

Sunday I covered another 600 miles, ending up in yet another rest area near Rapid City South Dakota. I was exhausted at this point. I forgot to eat all day. I woke up at 3 am with my stomach hurting, found a Dennys, and an attempt was made my a 1/2 mexican, 1/2 native american to get me to commit to "the confederate way". Creepy.

An interesting stop that night was at a so-called Discount Fuel station (most expensive fuel on the trip, but I had no choice - fuel stops open past 9pm can be over 100 miles apart in this area). This is cowboy country! I was the only one without a cowboy hat, boots, and fleece-lined denim jacket. Out of 20 or so vehicles in the lot, I was also the only one that did NOT have a horse trailer. Forget about that friendly cowboy shit. These guys were friggin' RUDE, one [i]attempted[i] to walk through me. lol

Monday was the first tourist day. Mt Rushmore. Very cool. Not surprisingly, not a long stop. Maybe 2 hours MAX. It's pretty cool, but how long can you stare at a stone rendition of a bunch of dead presidents?

I picked up some pamphlets and decided that Custer state park sounded really cool. Camping, showers, and an 18 mile wildlife loop. I exit Mt Rushmore, and there's a state sign pointing to the right that says Custer Park. Can you tell trouble is coming?

.. What they failed to mention was that this is one of the tightest, twisted roads you will ever be on, complete with 1000 ft drops off the guardrail-less shoulderless side of the road, single lane tunnels, 11'6"-12' bridges, 8' wide lanes, etc. If you know NC 226A - the road we got caught in the fog on, imagine that with no guardrails or shoulders and the lanes being a foot narrower and you've got a pretty good idea

Allow me pause here to describe what I'm driving. This is a 2005 F350 4x4 Crew Cab Dually. She's about 7'2" tall, over 22 feet long, and 7'10.5" at the "hips" (flared rear wheel wells for the dual tires). I'm hauling a 27' cabin cruiser on a trailer that, from my rear bumper measures (stepping outside in the rain to measure) 35'8". That's right, the total length of this combination is about 63 feet. 10 feet longer than the longest semi trailer. Think of a semi without a sleeper and you've got the idea (only several feet shorter in height).

Ohhh-Kaaay So I've got a 63' rig that is a whopping 1.5 INCHES narrower than the lanes, with curves so tight that some motorcycles are riding 10 MPH below the posted 35 MPH speed limit

Needless to say, I was going very slow and pissing off a lot of people. I apparently cut one right hand curve a little too tight in an effort to avoid driving the truck off a cliff The right trailer wheels (tandem axle) dropped off the inside (non cliff side) of the road - about a 1 foot drop. When it came back on the road, it bent the edge of the wheel completely over, causing the tire to deflate.

When I stop for one of the one-lane bridges, a guy pulls up to tell me about the flat and that the skeg (very bottom part of the outdrive/motor) is dragging every time I take a turn.

I have no choice but to keep driving - no turn arounds, no pull-offs - for another 3 miles I finally find a place that you could park 3 cars wide and maybe 3 cars deep if bumper-to-bumper. It's also on a steep slope. I spend 45 minutes digging suitable rocks out of the ground to act like wheel chocks so the trailer doesn't roll 1/2 mile downhill into a field Disconnect the trailer, break out the jack for the truck, remove the wheel (note to self - keep trailer on hitch next time until the wheel is off). Oh yeah, did I mention that it was raining like a mofo and *hailing*. Small gumball sized. The entire time I'm dealing with the trailer situation

I make some calls, make some more calls, find a wheel in a warehouse in the nearest city 60 miles away (back to Rapid city, ugh!). The rest of the day until about 6pm (this all started at about 11am) is spent resolving this issue. I tell the GPS to give me the quickest way back, it puts me on some short-cut dirt backroad that is actually more 4x4 trail than road. There is no way in hell I would take anything less than a 4x4 with dual limited slips and off-road tires on this trail 8 miles into this bumpy, muddy, rutty mess, I'm supposed to turn right and the highway is 200 yards away.

I turn right, yup, I see it, sweet! This actually saved me about an hour of driving Shit! There'a a big ass steel gate across the trail, permanent - concreted in the ground, with no way around it. I decid to keep going the way I was headed It seemed like it would hit 16alt further down the hill - still a time saver.

After another 3-4 miles of this road, there's a gate, but it's home made and open. There's a no hunting sign.. no problem, I'm not hunting. As I get closer, I notice brown spray paint on a darkened and rotting board that says "This is private property, no trespassing, this means you, motherfucker" (yes, including the motherfucker). I almost cry, I laugh out of frustration, figure I go in just far enough to get turned around. I then notice the trailer halfway down the side of the hill (how the HELL did they get that thing in there???) about 200 yards away with a... no shit, 3 legged dog on the porch, sitting at the feet of his master, who is slowingly standing and holding something that may have been almost anything, but was certainly looking like a firearm

Ok, new plan. Back up for about 1/3 mile into what was at one time, somebody's driveway, go ALL the way back on the dirt road, take the same twisted route back - actually seemed *easy* with only the big truck.

I finally finish getting the trailer together, hitched, and on the road again around 6pm. I head to Custer state park, hit the wildlife loop, see a lot of buffalo, some gazelle, rabbits, I think some elk, a few wild burros (they call them the "begging burros" - apparently they will come right up to your car sniffing for food). This just about makes up for the hell from earlier in the day. I stop to get a camp site - They don't have anything big enough for what I'm towing, and if I park on the side of the road, they will tow my vehicle away. I laugh, explaining what I'm towing, and that there is no way the could tow it

The friendly (really) young lady says "they have some kind of torch thingy they can burn through metal with so they can disconnect it". SHIT!

New plan - on to Deadwood (as in the tv show - This is where Calamity Jane, Bill Hitchcock, etc layed claim to fame) I roll in to Deadwood about 11pm. Turns out not much has changed there. Outside of the (closed at 11pm) main tourist strip, it's a dumpy gambling town where everybody is drunk and looking for trouble, and if you can find a motel (I did, it was a dive, there was a party in the parking lot) they will fuck you out of every cent they can (they wanted $90, I laughed and left, too tired to say something witty)

New plan version 2 (or is this 3?): Try to shake the bad mojo of South Dakota and drive just far enough into Wyoming to find a rest area and sleep in the truck yet again. After driving for what seemed like forever (I'm sure it wasn't long, but I was seriously concerned I would fall asleep) I finally figure out that (at least this part of) Wyoming doesn't have rest stops/areas, only "parking areas", these are little pull-offs parallel to the freeway. Basically a 300 yard strip of pavement with a garbage can. I'm beat, I take it. I *think* I'm somewhere between Gillette and Buffalo. It turns out not to be so bad. The sky is clear, I'm 50 miles from anything, and I see more stars than I've ever seen before - except for on Ocracoke Island. The sky seems nearly white. Sleep at midnight(?).

Tuesday - wake up at 8:30, surprised I slept so long. Driving to Yellowstone, which is only about 380 miles, a very easy day. So I take my time, stop by a truck stop, purchase some wireless Internet time, visit the visitor's center (what else would you do with one?), make calls to the customer and wifey, find out a shower costs $11 (campsites with showers are about the same), and being a man of principals, even though I am DYING for a shower (scroll back, it's been a long time - the longest I've ever went without one), there is no way in hell I'll pay that much.

Drive on with a stop in Cody, WY. This town is famous for Buffalo Bill and it's Rodeos. I'm curious about the rodeo, but am against that kind of treatment of animals, especially for entertainment purposes. I'm not curious enough about Buffalo Bill to stop at the visitor's center/museum/tourist trap. Find a Walmart, buy some camping supplies and a few cheap fishing items.

Drive through Buckhorn National forest. Beautiful!

Make it into Yellowstone via the West entrance. They don't bother to tell me that there is serious road construction, it's half bumpy dirt, etc.. for over 30 miles. Stop at the visitor center - closed. Stop in the store for some info. FINALLY make camp. They don't have a spot. Drive another 40 miles ot the next camp (there are NO roads in the Yellowstone. Each intersection is about 30 minutes away from the next one).

After much negotiation as to where I'll sleep, how I'll park, etc, they finally let me in the non-hookup RV section with the boat, but I MUST sleep in the tent. They have strict rules against sleeping in vehicles.

I find this odd considering that bears, especially Grizzlys, are a MAJOR problem here. You can be fined, even EVICTED for leaving so much as an empty water jug in the open (yes, the bed of a pickup counts as "out in the open). Why would they rather have you sleep in a tent than an 8000 lb truck?.. but a camper/rv is ok? Odd.

I manage to park in complete darkness, only bumping a log that lines the driveway/turn-in for the camp site. I set up my tent, start a fire, put on some coffee and a grilled cheese sandwich. Crash.

More (shorter and more frequent, with any luck!) coming soon.