Vanishing Point

No, not the movie (although I'll take the hemi challenger, thank-you-very-much). I'm talking about the point just beyond the breaking point.. Where you've broken, and yet have to keep going, forcing you into this "fuck everything, I can't take it anymore" frame of mind.

I think I've reached it. I've worked over 100 hours in the past 5 days (yes, that counts the weekend). I keep asking myself "what the hell for?". I've asked for help from my team, but the one person that bothered to respond (which, BTW, wasn't any of the 6-7 people I've spent entire nights working with in order to help them) said "sorry, I'm taking my kid to get ice cream".

... and being salary, the more I work, the less I get paid. Granted, my job affords a fairly nice lifestyle, but I've come to the realization that I'll never have everything I want (do any of us.. ever?). Instead of chasing that dream I need to start doing the things that make me happy with the people that make me happy. - IOW: Define my new dream.

It's time to start selling some toys (Harley for sale, anyone interested?), simplify, and perhaps change jobs, maybe change careers. At this point, and for the foreseeable future, what's important to me is living life. SO many people that have known me over the long term say "look how far you've come!".. It's easy to get trapped (and I have) into living behind a keyboard and doing whatever it takes so I never have to hear the words "what happened? You had it all?!?).

Well, lepers and germs, that time has come; the time to where it just doesn't matter. The vanishing point.

Don't be surprised if sometime in the future, we are gone, our shit is gone.. Just *poof* - Vanished into thin air.

Sure, you may get a postcard from bum-fuck Egypt saying "Hi! Wish you were here!" with a picture of us (myself, wife, gf, 4 dogs) standing beside a giant ball of aluminum foil with a 30 foot rv/fifth wheel in the background. (Who knows, maybe move out to the desert and actually create two towns, side-by-side, bum-fuck Egypt and butt-fuck Egypt, just so all of those lost people can have their mail forwarded somewhere - I'll save that for another post)

My new mission/dream - get out, enjoy life, LIVE life, find/get(or change the current one's frame-of-mind) a live-in gf that's sexy (not necessarily "hot", but oozes sex appeal), is "down" for doing just about anything and living anywhere, gets along well with wifey , and helps me to convert every hottie at every campsite into swingers. Yeah baby, YEAH!
(just let me keep 1 computer, my zx-10, my cell phone/PDA, and 1 notebook/laptop to stay in touch with people - ok, ok. Sheesh! It's really to download porn)

(Damn I use a lot of parentheses)